Weekly Newscap 7/9

Back on schedule for our weekly newscap. This week we had quite a few goodies, including this fantastic photo shoot for Vanity Fair from Annie Leibovitz.

(Monday we were closed) Tuesday: We were all still reeling from a very patriotic weekend. To help our communities we helped in a prison fundraiser, got into the Pittsburgh Zoo for $5 by sporting our mullets, and lost to the 16-time national pit spitting champion.

Source 1. Source 2.

Wednesday: Women all over are ruling the world, burning cash and getting a DUI for driving under the influence of vanilla extract. While men are told to just ‘cut your hair.’

Source.

Thursday: Our poor Paul had death threats from some Angry Argentinians for supposedly predicting Germany’s wins – and losses – during the FIFA World Cup. And we witnessed some passive aggressive fashion from Miss LiLo in court for violating her court order to go to counseling sessions.

Friday: Jesus was in the house. A New Hampshire water park has had a record summer after discovering their Lifeguard flag contained the face of Jesus. Then, an Alaska man attempts to walk on water to escape police, and a woman is held hostage after refusing to live Jesus’ Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

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